What is this, a Presidential Debate?

My students at school are very interested in this year's Presidential election. Some people may find this unbelievable, given the varying abilities of my kids. But after all these years with these amazing young people, nothing surprises me.

About two weeks ago, we were doing an activity in Occupational Prep class. We were conducting job interviews. The teachers had divided the class into groups, and we were working on interviewing strategies and techniques.

It sounded really good in the curriculum guide!

My group consisted of Debbie, seventeen years old. Debbie has never met an opinion she didn't like. Or express. Vocally and at great length. I also had a young man I shall call Peter. Peter exists in his own wild and wonderful world. He smiles and crinkles his eyes and agrees with just about everything that's said. I also had a fantastic young man I'll call Dante. Dante approaches the world with great humor and enthusiasm, but totally without a clue.

None of these names are real. I've changed identities to protect the innocent. Namely, myself.

As our activity progressed, and order broke down with Debbie arguing with everything that I said, I could not stop myself from saying, "What is this? A Presidential Debate?".

"Well, of course it is!" exclaimed Debbie. "And I'm Hillary Clinton and I'm gonna be the next President and you better learn to like it!"

Works for me!

Peter replied to Debbie's declaration of candidacy by saying, "Hillary Clinton? Who's that? Is she a movie star?"

Debbie's response was, "What, you're John Edwards all of a sudden?"

I choked on my Diet Pepsi.

Dante mumbled something about cowboys and space aliens.

Debbie said, "Shut up, Barack. You ain't making no sense today".

Oh my. The real Hillary better watch out.

Debbie is quite an admirer of Senator Clinton, it turns out. Hillary, in her considered opinion, is way cooler than Oprah Winfrey. She is not as good a singer as Hannah Montana, however.

Sorry, Hillary.

Our Hillary also has a tight rein on her Presidential spouse. "Ms. Chris," she announced one morning, breezing into the classroom and throwing her backpack on the floor next to my desk, "Bill's getting on my nerves! He better learn to shut up or I'll fire him!"

Um, President Clinton? I'd be real careful about crossing Hillary these days.

A few days later when our friend Tommy, star of another blog, had the temerity to tell Debbie she was getting on his nerves with all the blah, blah, blah, about Hillary Clinton, Debbie responded with a loud and firm, "What, you think you're Bill O'Reilly? You better shut up. Nobody but loons listen to you!"

Fox News, please take note.

Since that time, we have a self-proclaimed Condoleeza Rice, who wears her mother's pearl necklace to school these days and waves like Queen Elizabeth.

We have also been graced with the presence of our own Republican candidate. One of our students has Multiple Personality Disorder. One of her personalities is "The Preacher". The Preacher manifested last week, loudly proclaiming the word of God and testifying for Jesus. Debbie, dear, sweet, Debbie, stood up, put her hands on her hips, and said, "Calm down, Governor Huckabee! Nobody's voting for you anyway!"

We adult educator types, who are supposed to be in charge of this classroom, have seized the teachable moment presented and are teaching about politics and the election. It invariably deteriorates into mass chaos, but I figure it's a fair representation of a national political convention.

In the meantime, our own dear Senator has offered me the position of Chief Advisor. I will not get paid, mind you, but I will get to live in the White House and ride in a limo.

I wanted to be Vice President, but alas, this is not to be. That job is going to Zack from High School Musical.

Lucky Hillary.