Grandparenthood---The Ultimate Revenge

If your children are driving you crazy, giving you gray hair, taking years off your lifespan, making you turn in desperation to good old Captain Morgan, never fear. Grandparenthood may be within your future.

Grandparenthood is the ultimate revenge.

I well remember my oldest daughter as an infant and toddler, child and teenager.........the tantrums, head banging, kicking, biting, naughty words.........but enough about her wedding day.

I now have a grandchild. The sweetest, most adorable, precious little boy you ever want to meet. At two years old, my grandson, Joshua, looks like a cherub, with blonde hair, blue eyes, and a sweet and innocent little face. He loves Thomas the Tank Engine, Bob the Builder and Mickey Mouse. Oh, the joys of sharing his favorite things with him and watching with amazement the miracle of his growing into such a bright and intelligent little boy...................

And oh, how much fun it is to listen to him cuss like a sailor on shore leave in Thailand.

Witness this past Saturday night. It was my parents fifty-fifth wedding anniversary, which is quite an amazing accomplishment. Their pride and joy is their great grandson, my own darling Joshua. We had a party for immediate family at Tony Roma's restaurant. Of course, the real guest of honor was the light of our lives, my grandson, Joshua.

Joshua's current favorite person is my husband, his PopPop. Nobody can come close to his PopPop, and certainly not me. I am known as Granny Chopped Liver. So Joshua had has beloved PopPop monopolized at Tony Roma's. Joshua had his favorite Thomas the Tank Engine jeans and shirt on. Granny Chopped Liver bought it, but PopPop gets all the credit. PopPop and Joshua were playing and PopPop said, "I'm gonna tickle Thomas!" as he tickled Joshua's tummy.

Joshua replied with, "I gonna kick you ASS!"

It was one of those odd periods of silence restaurants are known to experience.

Heads snapped to attention to our table, my daughter and her husband were totally mortified, my parents shocked beyond belief, PopPop's mouth hung open in disbelief.

Granny Chopped Liver was laughing so hard, I thought I'd choke. All around us, laughter broke out from other members of our party and patrons of the restaurant. Soon, dollars began to appear in Joshua's pudgy little hand as family members and strangers alike gave generously to such an adorable little imp.

Joshua's mother pleaded for us all not to encourage his sweet little potty mouth, but to no avail. Joshua made a whole fifteen bucks! That is some serious ice cream money.

Joshua controlled his language for the rest of the evening. He even deigned to stay with the lowly Granny Chopped Liver long enough to color a picture of Mickey Mouse in the new coloring book The Unworthy One brought him.

And I gently reminded his mother, once her face returned to normal from the deep scarlet of maternal embarrassment, of the time she repeated her favorite uncle's favorite word, which began with an "f" and ended with a "uck", during her baby sister's Baptism service oh so many years ago.

Yes. Grandparenthood is sweet revenge, indeed.